Sunday, January 31, 2010

Happy birthday, Elaine


February 1, 1958 does not occupy a particularly significant spot in history. On that date Egypt and Syria merged into the United Arab Republic (it lasted only three years), and the U.S. satellite Explorer 1 was launched.

But it was on that date at a hospital in Greenwood, S.C., that a 37-year-old mother of two gave birth to her first daughter. For the next 14,143 days, this infant/toddler/girl/woman brought light to all the lives she touched. Her name was Elaine Russell.

She grew up in the little mill village of Ware Shoals, S.C., lovingly attended to by her mother, Rachel, and her father, William Delbert Russell. She was also loved – as much as siblings can love – by her two older brothers and, later, a kid sister.

What she brought to this world was a mix of compassion, tolerance, faith in God, intelligence, humor and love that drew you to her. People congregated toward Elaine because once she was your friend, that was it: you were her friend for life. She didn’t pit people against each other; rather, she brought people together, making them feel welcome no matter the circumstance. Many a time people would be visiting and announce that they’d have to leave, only to have Elaine say, “Oh, stay on a while.” Those invitations were sincere.

Elaine fell in love when she was 27, and married a fellow newspaper person when she was 28. If there is such a thing as “marrying up” in life, then her husband surely did that. It was she who brought joy and richness to their union, lifting a man who had been lonely and searching for that one, special someone for a long time. They were in love and devoted to each other, a true doubleheader of life.

Life continued to bless them with their daughter, Rachel, less than three years after they married. Elaine’s daughter was the light of her life, and Elaine was the center of Rachel’s existence. They loved reading together, playing games, entertaining friends and simply being with each other.

Elaine found time to become a free-lance writer, get involved with their church and become a Brownie troop leader.

But this is no fairy tale; it’s a study in the human condition. Humans are, in the final analysis, frail creatures, subject to the randomness and vagaries of life. A pulmonary disease descended with terrible swiftness and claimed this woman on Oct. 30, 1996.

But even as her body betrayed her, Elaine’s mind and spirit wouldn’t succumb to self pity. Her husband found this short essay about a month after she died, written in one of the notebooks she kept.

"Why me?
Why can't I breathe well? Why I am virtually housebound hooked to an oxygen machine? Why have I had three major illnesses in my lifetime when some people breeze through the years without setting foot in a hospital?
Believe it or not, these are questions I have NOT asked myself as I've struggled with my most recent bout with sickness.
A more appropriate question might be 'Why not me?'
In times of frustration, despair or indecision, it's easy to look to the heavens and ask God 'Why me?'
But if I ask that question in troubled times, shouldn't I ask it when things are their sunniest, when life is easy, when everything is going my way?
Why was I born into a wonderful, caring family when so many children are unwanted and unloved?
Why have I been blessed with many friends in many places over the years?
Why did a find a wonderful man to marry and, with him, have a beautiful daughter?
Why do I live in a comfortable home and have plenty to eat while the world is filled with homeless and hungry people?
Why me? What have I ever done to deserve even one of the blessings I've known?"


That last question is one asked by all who knew Elaine Russell in the 38 years, 8 months and 29 days she was with us. None of us deserve the blessings we receive, but maybe we can ask for the wisdom to acknowledge them.

So today, 52 years after she was born, we acknowledge the blessing that was Elaine Russell. Happy birthday, Elaine.